NON-VEG SMS JOKES

1)Name the three greatest kings of the world?sucKING, licKING and fucKING!
2)Define BOOBS:Two big hills with a dry rivulet in between.
3)Arz kiya hai:Aajkal ke baaache bahut hi shataan hainUmar sirf 2 mahine kiEk to Muh se chooste hain aur doosara haath se dabaate hain.
4)Q: What is the lightest thing in the world?A: A penis...even a thought can raise it.
5)Galib ek din bewafa premika ke ghar ke bahar su-su karte pakda gaya or bola: 'tere pyar me yu dukhi hai galib, ke ansu bhi niklte hai raste badal badal kar'!
6)Agar asmaan tak ap ke hath jaate, Arj kiya hai.., Agar asmaan tak aap ke haath jaate., to Chand Sitare to kya, Pariyon ki Gand main bhi Ap ungli kar Aate...!
7)Har ek sukhi aaurat ko apne jeevan me pati se kya chahihe. . . ??? jeenda rahne tak uska khada lund aur marne ke baad uska provident fund.
8)Ek Bar ek shaitan bhagwan se bola mujhe sab se khubsurat bana taki mai sunder ladkiyon ka khoon pee saku, bhagwan haskar bole ja tujhe ''WHISPER" (a sanitary pad) bana diya.
9)Ek sardar ulta nanga soya tha. Dusara admi aake sardar par tabla bajane lega,jab bajana bandh kiya to sardar palta aur bola, le ab BANSURI baja.
10)What is the difference between Strength and Stamina? Strength is when u can hang a wet towel on your dick; and
Stamina is when u can keep it hanging there, till it dries.

1)On Vidai, bride’s father gave a note to the boy – “GOODS ONCE DELIVERED, WILL NOT BE TAKEN BACK”, Boy 2 gave a note to Sasurji – “NOT ACCEPTED IF SEAL IS BROKEN”.
2)A pros for nite: 200 Bucks, Hotel Room: 300 Bucks,
Condom: 10 Bucks,
Erection?
SORRY!!! There r somethings money can’t buy, for everything else there’s Master Card.
3)5 yr old boy looks at his father’s erected dick n says “PEPSI BOTTLE!”, Dad says “HOW DO U KNOW?”
Son: “coz Mom sucks neighbour’s dick n says “YE DIL MAANGE MORE”
4)If u can pronounce good English, read along: woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof, woof, shoof, loof, roof
Test Result: u r a good dog, now stop barking.
5)Is naye saal mein apko saand ki shakti, raand ki bhakti,
kareena ki pussy, sex ka gyan, boobs ka dhyan,
lund ki lambai, chut ki garmai
PRAPT HO… TATHAASTU!!!

10)What wud one say while remove bra? Desh mein nikla Chand. While removing panty? Khulja Sim Sim.
While doing sex? Kya Masti Kya Dhoom.
After Sex? Kamzor Kadi Kaun?
8)Patient: DocSab, Kya karoon, Mera Lund khada hi nahin hota. Dr.: Kya tumhari shaadi ho gayee? Patient: Nahin.
Dr.: Kya tumhari koi Girlfriend hai? Patient: Nahin.
Dr.: Kya tum kisi pros ke paas jaate ho? Patient: Nahin.
Dr.: TO KYA LUND KHADAA KARKE USPAR APNA COAT TANGEGA…!!!

A man is standing in a bus and a woman is standing behind him with her big boobs touching him. Man: Behenji, apne santare sambhaaliye…
Woman: Santare mere hain, tumhe kya?
Man: Santare to apke hain, par juice to mera nikal raha hai…

CONDOM says to STAYFREE : When u work, my business is loss for 4 days.
STAYFREE replies : If u fail to work once, my business stops for 9 months

Conductor: Bacchay ka full ticket lagega!! Village Lady: Yeh to abhi choochi peeway hai!
Conductor: Choochi to iska Baap bhi peeway hai, uska bhi adha legi!!!

ab kya rona dhona hai ab to baccha hona hai.
us samay kyon nahi roi thi jab lipat chipat ke soyi thi.
ab kiya hai to bharo us samay kehti thi aur karo aur karo.